It's funny to think that tomorrow, at 19 weeks, baby A will have had 4 ultrasounds, and we didn't have a single one with little d till he was almost 22 weeks.
I am trying to think of it as an awesome thing, to be able to see my baby girl and all her bits moving around so frequently, but tomorrow's ultrasound will be the first one I'm actually a little worried about. Right after last weeks visit my doctor informed me that of the 50 photos they took (all but one looking perfect and no cause for concern) they were not able to get a good one of the top of her brain, which is supposed to show some sort of whitish substance that is supposed to be present. This could be due in part to the fact that baby girl did not take kindly to ANYthing touching her head and would immediately flip her entire body around every time the tech would attempt to take the shot. Or it could be that the substance isn't there which is a problem that my doctor said the ultrasound doctor (had no idea those even existed) could discuss with me of that was an issue. Oh, and there is a bit more fluid in her brain than they would like but no big deal just come to the hospital ASAP for a follow up ultrasound he says.
He also forgot to tell me not to go home and google "fetal brain problems" and "fluid in brain" which only freaked me out for a few hours till I realized that kicking myself for cleaning cat poop, eating canned tuna, or getting food poisoning wouldn't help the situation. However my sweet baby girl comes to me, all that matters is that she is mine and in my eyes she will always be perfect. She will have an entire army of Dowling gentlemen to love and protect her, not to mention a mother who adores her so very much.
So no matter what happens tomorrow or any day after that, I will be brave. I will be strong. I will continue to relish every moment as a mother of one until I become a mother of two. I can do hard things. And sometimes it is jut the anticipation and waiting and not knowing that is the hardest part. Good thing I know who has it all under control.