Thursday, November 29, 2012

My seventh year as a 21 year old

When I think back to the last year, 26 has been good to me. I ran a marathon, got pregnant with my second baby, and got to spend the most amount of time with my parents and in laws than I have since I got married. My biggest trial has probably been spending my entire 26th year without a home to call my own, living co dependent of our families and while there doesn't seem to be much end in sight to that little problem, I know that to have that be my trial is trivial when I think about our healthy little family and the fact that mr. D has a job.

While everyone tries to reassure me that i am so lucky to have help and not have to pay rent (which i understand and am very grateful for!) what has suffered the most the last year is my self esteem and value as a mother and housewife. I took a LOT of pride in decorating, cleaning, and just being in my home. Without a home I have felt a little lost over the last year and without a purpose other than being a playmate to little d (not that that is a bad gig!). Dealing with boredom is not my strong suit, and while the marathon was a good distraction, the summer was difficult emotionally and I spent a lot of afternoons napping not because I was tired but because I was a little bit depressed, usually while little d slept and he wasn't there to distract me. I know that now, especially once I hit the halfway point in my pregnancy last week and got the crafting bug big time. I suppose if I can't nest, then making everything I've ever wanted to before my onesome becomes a twosome is the next best thing. It has kept my mind busy, and my heart happy and with a better sense of purpose than I have had since I stopped working full time.

What has also helped me a lot the last few weeks is finding out I am having a girl... Because that means making bows, hairties, cute onesies, accessories and decor I don't think I would be quite as excited to make if this was another boy. After busting out the cricket a few days ago, I've been completing a zillion little projects I've had pinned for ages, then my parents gifted me with a sewing machine I should be getting any day now, and I would be lying if I said my creative little heart is oh so full.

So in short, being 26 was good. But I can already tell 27 will be even better. I know I only have four months to really indulge in this little creative habit of mine, but if it keeps me happy and sane than it will be worth it, even if I have yet to have a home to call my own.

Special thanks goes to my family for showering me with love and presents even from afar, especially to my mom who gave birth to me (a week late, poor thing!) and made the little miracle inside of me that much more special... I don't know too many bonds as strong as a mother and we firstborn daughter and I am delighted to experience it for myself next year.

And maybe I'll even find it in my heart to forgive mr. D for going to myrtle beach without me this week. ;) tomorrow is going to be the start of a wonderful 27th year.

2 comments:

Eric and Andrea said...

Ruth your birthday is tomorrow right?? At least I hope because I've been thinking all week it was Friday...
I know what you're going through doll but you're an inspiration to us all. We love you and can't wait to see all your cute crafty crafts!!

Have Your Way said...

Happy Birthday Ruth :) Enjoy your very special day :) Happy crafting :)

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