Sunday, September 30, 2012

Weekend update: tis the season, fitness america, and the jacket

Apparently tis the season for elementary school fundraisers, because little d got to go with his dad last week to a "wild wild west" themed carnival last weekend, this past weekend we went to a sports themed one, and the pumpkin themed one is in two weeks... All at different schools. This basically means we spent our Saturday morning coaxing little d around the cakewalk, eating way too much candy, and watching him hop around a bounce house or shoot hoops. It was fun to see him in such awe of the older kids, especially the fourth grade DJs who were emceeing the whole thing (and had business cards to boot!) but to their credit, they did play some fun music. Anyways. It was a rainy day so most everything was moved indoors but that isn't stop us from admiring the perfect fall foliage blossoming outside.

I have always loved Ohio in the fall and scoffed at Utahans that would proudly proclaim how "colorful" Utah was in the fall. Yes they have lovely mountains but nothing compares to trees trees and more trees! This being my first ever fall in new england, I am thrilled to say it has just started and I am in absolute amazement at the color change. I make so many comments in the car with little d that when I tell him to look at a certain tree, he usually responds with a "oh. My. Dosh. Dat twee es boo tee fo! Wow!!" (I probably say that about a dozen times a day to him!).

Saturday night I supported a good friend from my ward at church who was competing in the boston fitness universe competition. She has been a fitness competitor before and has worked her butt off the last few months working out and training and dieting like a madwoman... And it all paid off! She won first place in her category (bikini, under 40) and felt so good about it she plans on competing again a few more times this year! It was such an awe inspiring thing to watch not just childless early-twentiers but all these 44, 52 year old women who had multiple children and full time jobs competing alongside those twentysomethings!

The overall winner in women was a 44 year old with three children (all in attendance, cheering her on)!! I was absolutely astonished. There was a woman sitting in front of us who we found out is a competitor but just not in this competition that she was watching, and she was 61 years old. Sixty. One. Blonde with this incredible body that I couldn't help but snap a creeper picture of her because I knew no one would believe me. I barely believed it!! I have a new goal for my fifty year old self: right diet and exercise to look half as good as those women! Incredible. And the men were a total hoot. A few were downright hams about the whole muscle posing/bodybuilding thing and won me over on personality alone. If you ever have a chance to go to a fitness competition, I absolutely recommend it! It gave me so much respect for those men and women and all the hard work that goes into that business.

Bummer of the night was when we were walking out of the theater to congratulate Diana, I felt I was missing something. After seeing her and snapping a few pictures I remembered: my orange Boston marathon jacket!! I literally ran (pregnant, with a purse and in boots) over to my seat. It was gone. I asked people working there. Walked the entire auditorium, NOTHING. Waterworks were imminent right? So there I was, in a near empty theater, bawling my eyes out, crumpling into a ball in the corner.

Here's the thing. It wasn't just that someone stole it. It wasn't just that I forgot something (I tend to forget just about everything at some point or another). It was the principle of The Jacket. Running my first marathon and having it be The Boston was about as surreal as it gets. Sort of like my wedding day, it was so highly anticipated and yet went by so fast that I barely remember it if not for the pictures and even those seem surreal.

At least post wedding I had a handsome husband to stare at all the time (when hes not looking of course). But the marathon? The medal was tangible but the jacket was something that allowed me to proudly display my accomplishments peacock style. That jacket made it feel real, especially because I only allowed myself to buy it after I hit my prebaby weight (you know, in June, right before I got pregnant again). It represented so much more to me than just being a jacket. It was my symbol of success (whether it was on me or in my closet, it did not matter) and without it I felt... I couldn't describe it but it was pretty awful. Thankfully I had a marvelous uplifting Sunday to balance out the bad karma and I'm all better now, just a little disappointed in myself. Mr d offered to buy me another one, which I will probably do, but this time? I may never take it off. And this time, I mean it.

Friday, September 28, 2012

In case you missed it on instagram (mom, I'm looking at you!)

I decided tuesday morning on a whim that my hair was just getting too stinking long. I was spending more time figuring out what to do with it to keep it out of my way than I care to admit. And knowing the impending doom of continual hair growth during pregnancy (and my tendency to make terrible decisions when I'm in my third trimester), I decided I should chop it off now when it can still look cute and balanced with my body instead of in 6 months when my face is bloated and the rest of me fat.

I looked up some hair donation sites and decided on Pantene beautiful lengths, which gives cancer patients with hair loss a FREE wig (locks of love charges the patient), and it is guaranteed that my hair will go to a wig of that sort instead of being sold to a wig shop for profit (from my limited research, it appears that is what LoL does). Also the length requirements are as low as 8 inches with pantene, and my hair was between 8-10 inches that i would get off, and LoL requires 10-12. So I called the lady who does my inlaws hair and she happened to be available that very night... And didn't even charge me since I was donating! 3 hugely thick pony tails all between 8 to 10 inches shipped off to Ohio this week... I will miss my beautiful hair but it thrills me that someone else will get to enjoy my enviably long, curly, easy to style, THick hair. Expect my next haircut in another year or two when it those 10 inches grow back!!

Remembering 12 weeks and 2 years

It's a funny thing to be able to draw so many parallels between my 12 week pregnant self and my 2 year old son. The both of us have had quite a whirlwind couple of months. When things have been bad, they've been pretty awful. Me with figuring out this whole pregnancy (and still having a life) thing and little d figuring out his voice in our family and our relationship. Allow me to illustrate.

1) every night when I go to bed I am either so full and uncomfortable I wish I was throwing up (even though I rarely eat past 630 and I don't eat much for dinner), or else I am so incredibly hungry that either way I have a hard time sleeping. At one point I was eating lunch at 10 am and dinner at followed by a small evening snack at 6, and that worked okay for me but messed up little d's eating habits.
2) it seems like I am in a constant state of "time out-ing" little d. I don't feel I have many rules but one of them is not screaming in the house, or throwing fits (usually now one and the same) and even though he KNOWS not to do that, he has been doing it like crazy the last week, and of course once he is in time out, following it with "I just miss my dad!" (who is out of town) seriously?! I thought only girls were this conniving. Joke. Anyways, the time outs have been good for the both of us, it allows me to cool off if I'm mad at him (or just give me time to figure out my next move), and he is able to settle himself down. Then we talk about what happened and he seems to know and understand what happens with timeout... Maybe he forgets? His favorite word is NO and I am counting my lucky stars that I am not nine months pregnant now so that I can properly haul him out of the mall midtantrum (like I had to do today) because it was dangerously close to naptime and we had to get home, and then I had to terrify him ("do you want to get hit by a car?!" I know, smooth move me but I was shocked because prior to this week has been mostly obedient to me) when I was trying to open the car door for him and he tried straying into the parking lot. Nobody ever tells you when a two year old gets something in his mind (I want to drive) HE DOES NOT LET IT GO. It stays locked in that brain of his alllllll the wayyyy home. (wee!).

The good news is this "bad stuff" is all super minor. If the two of us are on roller coasters and mine is mostly always downhill (have I mentioned this pregnancy is kicking my trash?! It is), his has a few dips but just keeps climbing higher. Having a toddler is incredible, and the 95% good times easily outweighs the worse 5%. my favorite thing about having the bedroom to myself is bringing little d into my bed at 6 am, and we just lay there and he talks talks talks to me. About stuff we did, what he dreamed about, what he wants to do today, everything. Unfiltered. I cant get enough of that. It helps me understand the tantrums because while his vocabulary is so well versed, he struggles understanding why and where and time and that frustrates him, understandably so.

Little d is the most incredible little playmate and the hours we spend making "cookies" from play dough or reading together or playing at the park, those are the things I want to remember the most. With little d, as with all the rest of our children, I want to remember that life raising kids has some substantial challenges that we are usually not prepared to deal with (and I often react to horribly as an initial response), but that is completely overshadowed by these miraculous moments that quite literally take your breath away, like little d trying his hand and (finally) succeeding at riding by himself on a scooter.

Toddler moms, I am convinced, are the luckiest ones there are. Yes, their kids are chock full of emotion and when they get upset, it happens in a big way. But man when they love they love hard and there is never a moment, even when he is in time out (okay except for the times he's calling for daddy) that I doubt his love for me.

I am so so lucky. And I have to say that as hard as this pregnancy is, seeing little d every day makes me realize how terribly worth it it is.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Monday, September 24, 2012

Sweet calm baby... Boy??

Well we still have till November 5th to find out officially if TBD is a boy or girl but that didn't stop my OB from speculating based on the heartbeat. It was on the fast side, but we'll have to see if it is still that way come November :) second ultrasound and doctors appointment went fabulously today, I am hopefully mere days or weeks away from being back to normal again and of course seeing my little baby this morning? I cannot stop the ear to ear grin on my face.

Something I don't ever want to forget: when the ultrasound started, baby TBD was barely moving... I was so worried! But then I saw some finger movements and that unflappable heartbeat and knew he was okay. Just super mellow! This either means we are in for the opposite of little d (the kickboxing master) OR... Baby TBD is used to sleeping in the morning because that is always when I work out :) I'm banking on the latter. Either way, towards the end of the appointment, I notices something I knew I recognized... My baby got the hiccups!! While it was so stinking cute and I wish I had it on video, it made for some silly glamour shots of him. His nose looks so long and pointy in the picture! So suffice it to say, that picture does not do TBDs cuteness justice but it will have to do until the big gender reveal! Happy Monday indeed.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

The best 45 minutes of my day today

Found the most perfect running path alongside Wellesley college and the Boston Marathon route. Only about five minutes were spent wondering "how have I never run this way before?!" and the rest thinking "theres nothing better than running in autumn weather."

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

confessions from pregnancy #1 (and a few from #2)

I certainly did my fair share of worrying last time around, enough to last me a few pregnancies, which works out well I guess because I am much more laid back and less concerned with silly things I know don't matter.

things I spent too much time worrying about my first trimester the first time around (and what I'm doing this time):
-from the day I found out I was pregnant, not wanting to do ab exercises for fear of squishing my baby (I am still doing plenty of abwork, and even attending a core class once a week that focuses on back, shoulders, glutes, arms as well as abs)
-from the day I found out I was pregnant, not wanting to lay on my stomach or back for fear of cutting off my circulation (up until this week I was able to easily lay and enjoy being on my stomach and back until it has literally gotten too uncomfortable. It was good while it lasted!)
-from the day I found out I was pregnant, abstaining from tuna, deli meats and sushi (I know now to just eat it in moderation, heat it up, and not eat the raw kind...which I hate anyway)
-basically complete and total paranoid panic about anything possibly going wrong (completely gone now)

things I spent too much time worrying about in the second trimester the first time around (and what I will be doing this time):
-the possibility of my baby being a boy because I had limited experience with them (I will be super excited for either gender!!)
-the possibility of said boy getting my short genes (I've accepted it... have I mentioned little d is in the 10% of height? and he still gets older ladies!)
-the possibility of said boy getting redheaded genes since they run in both our families (didn't happen last time, not worrying about what I can't control)
-the possibility of said boy getting my gross brown curly hair (I've seen my fair share of cute curly haired boys in the last 2 years, so I think it would actually be pretty fun to have a baby look like me this time!)
-potty training (still on my list of concerns...)
-disciplining my child (work in progress, but taking it one day at a time)
-picking baby names (we have them already picked out)

things I spent too much time worrying about in the third trimester the first time around (and what I will be doing this time):
-weight gain (a moot point, since I know it happens no matter what. I am just focusing on healthy weight gain with drinking more water and eating in moderation, and if I gain 50 pounds again, who cares? I lost it once and I can do it again)
-giving birth (c-section or vaginal birth, all I care about is a healthy baby)
-loving someone as much as I love my husband (after little d and the kevs, I have come to realize that love always multiples when a family grows, and your love for your kids v. pet v. husband are all different but equally full and wonderful)
-feeling normal post baby (I know now to just be patient and that I will feel just as good if not better after time)
-packing my hospital bag (I know now all I need is toiletries to make me feel normal, my pump in case I need to use it, snacks for Mr. D, my laptop/phone and chargers, socks, flip flops, ONE outfit for baby, and a set of forgiving maternity clothes to go home in)

stuff I am a little concerned about with this #2/TBD...
-finding out the gender. last time I wanted everyone around and this time... I feel more private about it. Mr. D wants to go but I think I prefer to go solo and break the news to him (and the rest of the fam bam) in my own way. I by no means will with hold that sort of information, but I just want time to process it on my own, if that makes sense.
-sibling rivalry. meaning protecting TBD from becoming little d's "second base!" (currently Kevin's position, getting whacked on the bum) as he rips around the house celebrating his home run.
-juggling two kids and just getting out of the house for running errands. I go everywhere with little d. I mean EVERY where (okay, except for the OB appointments). I think it helps that with each outing I plan a little something for him, like today we went to pick up some stuff at the store and then visited the petstore next door. Little d doesn't mind going out with me, and I have found is even in a much better mood when we are out of the house but I am not sure how well that will work with two kids under 3. any advice would be greatly appreciated.
-living in our room vs. sharing a room with little d. ???
-will I ever consistently sleep well again? ;)
-any flaws this new baby might have that would prevent Mr. D from wanting a #3 (little d's was his sleeping, obviously a sore spot in this family ;))
-comparing this baby to little d. obviously there is no competition and I will love both children equally but I hate to think I will be comparing them developmentally, so I will try really hard not to.

stuff I am really really super terribly excited about with #2/TBD...
-baby smell
-baby snuggles
-breastfeeding again
-giving little d a sibling/teammate ;)
-Dreft-ing every garment we own (you know, JUST in case the baby's allergic)
-sleepy baby eyes
-watching the development of a new child of our very own making
-experiencing the first year (I love all of those "firsts") all over again
-having two little bugs to watch me cross finish lines in races
-getting to see what physical combination of Mr. D and I this baby will be
-everything being so tiny
-baby coos
-experimenting with different things I didn't try the first time around (like holding off on feeding him/her sugar before one year)
-feeling a little bit more complete in having a family of four five. can't forget the kevs ;)
-having someone so completely dependent on me
-lots of little naps (maybe not for me, but still...)
-getting to re-use all the baby stuff we have put away
-walks with baby (something I still love doing with little d)
-baby wearing
-feeling more confident in this second baby now that I have gone through it all once... but also eager to see a few surprises ;)
-adding a little bite sized bit of love into our lives
-I could probably go on with this list forever... let it suffice that my excitement far surpasses any concerns I may have about this (or any) child. I am grateful every day to be pregnant and have a toddler, two of the greatest gifts I have ever (or will have ever) received. All thanks to Mr. D. Thanks, honey! :)

Monday, September 17, 2012

MAKE IT: Cafe Rio Pork Salad and Ruth's Apple Pie


Seriously, you are going to want to make this immediately. THIS IS THE CAFE RIO PORK BARBACOA SALAD (and all the fixings!) RECIPE OF YOUR UTAH DREAMS. Also, don't forget to scroll to the bottom for my perfected apple recipe of my very own (a variation of a food network classic).

As a person for whom food has been the enemy for most of the past three months, and sleep the go-to naptime ritual, you will probably be shocked to hear that yesterday was the first Sunday since probably before my marathon training that I DID NOT TAKE A NAP WHEN MY BABY DID and instead I cooked for two hours. Gasp, I know right? Go ahead and call me lazy, I am fully aware of my lack of productivity and that will have to wait for another post. It was totally worth it.

I have been craving Cafe Rio Salads (specifically the pork barbacoa) ever since I stepped foot off the plane from Utah. I am a COMPLETE Cafe Rio snob so everything I have tried out here in Boston has failed to meet expectations (even when I lowered them) so, naturally, I took to pinterest and picked out a few recipes, thinking I would try one out and if it didn't work... proceed to the next till I found the "perfect" one. Well, I hit the jackpot and nailed it on the first try... EVERYTHING!
Had it for dinner last night and lunch today. Still just as good!

I got the cilantro lime rice recipe from the-girl-who-ate-everything blog (since Michelle recommended it as a tried and true success), and the rest of the food (including the pork) was from favfamilyrecipes blog. I made exactly what each recipe called for and it made plenty for three adults with enough leftovers for at least another meal or two. Photos are all my own from last night. Without further ado...
  • from FFR.... Salad Checklist:
  • 6 large Tortillas [uncooked are the best way to go on that one!]
  • Shredded cheese, Mexican blend
  • Cafe Rio Rice [see below]
  • Cafe Rio Black Beans [see below]
  • Cafe Rio Sweet Pork [see below]
  • Lettuce (NOT iceberg, use leafy green or Romaine)
  • Diced tomato, onion, and cilantro [I just threw them in the blender and made my own pico de gallo!]
  • Guacamole [unless you are a pregnant Ruth...]
  • Sour cream and Tortilla Strips were two things I didn't care for and were omitted
  • Cotija cheese, crumbled (or you can use Parmesan)
  • Cafe Rio Cilantro Ranch [see below]

2 pounds pork (we like to use boneless pork ribs)
3 cans Coke (NOT diet)
1/4 c. brown sugar
dash garlic salt
1/4 c. water
1 can diced green chilies
3/4 (1ooz) can red enchilada sauce (I used Old El Paso brand, medium spiciness)
1 c. brown sugar
Put the pork in a heavy duty Ziploc bag to marinade. Add about a can and a half of coke and about 1/4 c. of brown sugar. Marinade for a few hours or overnight.
Drain marinade and put pork, 1/2 can of coke, water, and garlic salt in crock pot on high for about 3-4 hours (or until it shreds easily, but don’t let it get TOO dry). Remove pork from crock pot and drain any liquid left in the pot. Shred pork.
In a food processor or blender, blend 1/2 can Coke, chilies, enchilada sauce and remaining brown sugar (about a cup, you can add a little more or less to taste..). If it looks too thick, add more Coke little by little. Put shredded pork and sauce in crock pot and cook on low for 2 hours. That’s it!
2 Tbsp. olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/3 c. tomato juice
1 1/2 tsp. salt
2 Tbsp. fresh chopped cilantro
In a nonstick skillet, cook garlic and cumin in olive oil over medium heat until you can smell it. Add beans, tomato juice, and salt. Continually stir until heated through. Just before serving stir in the cilantro. (**NOTE** we added a can of corn, drained, to the beans with a dash of cumin and chili powder, it was AWESOME! We recommend doing this even though it’s not “traditional Cafe Rio”)
1 packet TRADITIONAL Hidden Valley Ranch mix (not BUTTERMILK)
1 c. mayonnaise
1 c. buttermilk
2 tomatillos, remove husk, diced
1/2 bunch of fresh cilantro
1 clove garlic
juice of 1 lime
1 jalapeno (we like it SPICY so we kept the seeds in it, if you like it mild, just remove the seeds)
Mix all ingredients together in the blender. That’s it!

CafĂ© Rio Lime Cilantro Rice 
Source: girl who ate everything blog

2 Tablespoons butter 
pepper to taste
1 ¼ cup uncooked white rice [I used Uncle Ben's]
juice and zest 2 small limes [we don't really like zest]
2 ¼ cups chicken broth
2 Tablespoons finely chopped cilantro [I was a little more generous with the cilantro]
¾ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon cumin

In a skillet melt butter with rice. Add the chicken broth and the rest of the ingredients. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and cook for 20 minutes or until liquid is absorbed.

Ruth's apple pie (adapted from the Bobby Flay  five star apple pie recipe found on foot network site... Pie crust is food network's, pie filling is all my doing!):

Combine 2 c all purpose flour with 3/4 tsp salt and 1 cup shortening (room temp) cut into small pieces until mixture is uniform. (I used a fork to mix it together)

Beat one egg, 2 tbsp water and 1 tbsp white vinegar to blend and pour liquid over flour mixture, stir until all mixture is moist. Divide dough in half, shape each into a ball and flatten into a 4 inch circle, wrap and chill dough for at least 15 minutes to ensure easier rolling.

Preheat oven to 400'.

Peel, core and slice apples. I slice mine super tiny because I don't like big chunks of apple. I used three cortland (a tart and hard Massachusetts apple) and three gala (sweet and tender) apples. I've found that I like to combine at least two types of apples to get the best flavor... Last time I used Jonathan with golden delicious and it was equally good.

Dust rolling pin, flour surface and roll out dough to uniform thickness to fill pie place. Or, if you're like me and the dough keeps breaking on you. I just pounded the dough into the pie plate :) classy I know.

Layer apples, cinnamon, small (super tiny slivers of butter, about 1-2 tbsp total) and mixture (of 1/4 c granulated sugar, 1/2 c brown sugar, 2 tbsp all purpose flour) until you fill the pie to your liking. Place second pie crust on top, form to edges of pie plate and cut slits in top crust to allow steam release.

I also added a crust saver to cover the crust from burning for the first 30 minutes (you can also just use aluminum foil), and then take off and cook an additional 5-10 minutes.

Perfection!! Enjoy! This was my best meal yet... I don't know how I will top this one :)

Saturday, September 15, 2012

7 years after our first date

While I feel like I have done a pretty good job recording and remembering to basic details of our relationship, this year I wanted to do something different. I wanted to really make sure I remembered so that my children would know how I felt.

Those first few meetings, that first date, was all nerves for me. He was too perfect, too sweet, too charming. If it felt like half our ward wanted to date him it was only because half our ward was female. I kept pinching myself on that date to the library, thinking you better stop liking him so much since once he lands a girlfriend he won't have time for friends that are girls. It was hard to deny I was falling for him. Hard.

Every day we spent together those first precious weeks, I would go back to in a heartbeat because in those long hours of deep talks, I realized beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was desperately in love with this man. I am sure we went to classes and did homework but in my minds eye, for those few weeks the world revolved around only us. I don't remember too many specifics worth sharing anymore, but I could not deny how I felt and it terrified me. I had never in my life felt that way about someone.

What followed was a whirlwind of sporting events, intramurals, homework, classes, deciding on majors, nights in watching movies (and making out), and most importantly, doing everything together. Such a unique and wonderful time of our life I will always look back on with fondness.

The day he proposed was the most anxiety inducing evening of my life. I was so afraid he would change his mind about wanting to marry me. When we were picking out my ring, I tried telling him I didn't want one. He didn't believe me so I told him I wanted something with the smallest diamonds possible, because I knew how hard he worked and how much he loved saving money and I wanted him to be happy with me. He wanted to ensure I would have something I would love to wear and I got it... I believe the longest it has been away from my finger was the week I had little d and was so pumped full of fluids, my fingers resembled sausages. I am not shy to admit I did not like the engagement part of our courtship, I felt extremely stressed out with school and wedding planning and making both our families happy but at least there was a light at the end of the longest tunnel of my life... April 28, 2006.

I wish I remembered more about our wedding day, but most of what I do remember comes from the photos we took. I remember thinking after that lovely sweet an simple ceremony, that's it? With just a few words, just like that, he's mine forever?

The day we found out little d was a boy, I don't think I could have braced myself for his response. There are a few times I have seen such complete unadulterated happiness emanate from his face without filter, and that was one of those times I have been graced with that privilege. I was hoping one of those times would be at the birth of said child, but we all know how crazy an scary that was. I don't want a perfect labor and delivery this time around, all I want is to see the look on my husbands face when he holds our sweet second child for the first time and have it be one of those unfiltered looks I can treasure forever.

The last event was more drawn out than all the rest... Training for my marathon and mr. D's first few months of work, traveling every week. I'd be lying if I said a lot of tears were not shed and it was an incredibly emotional time of my life. I would have loved to run through the finish line into his arms, but I suppose that will have to wait for a much smaller marathon than boston. :) just the fact that he was able to get me into the marathon and encouraged me to follow a crazy dream I was never quite sure I would ever do, then drag little d and the rest of my family all over the greater Boston area just to catch little glimpses of me running what will hopefully be my slowest marathon ever. :)

All in all, I thought I was pretty in love with mr. D when I first started getting to know him. Husbandhood, fatherhood, and #1 supporter of every crazy thing I want to do has really made that love explode to a million billion pieces I never could have fathomed existed. I am so grateful I accepted that invitation to the library to study seven years ago. Everything good in my life since then has come as a direct result of that decision.

I saw a necklace in French that ha the saying "I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow." I feel that is more true with every passing day! We will spend the day apple picking with the little one and enjoying a date night with a brownie a la mode (although pregnant girl that I am, I still hate ice cream so I'll stick to the brownie this time!), our first shared treat of many.

Happy 7 years indeed.
first halloween... he looked much better in my clothes than I did in his!
one of my all time favorite shots of us
first pic my first intramural soccer watching
october 2005... pats @ broncos
he loves me even with all my crazy hair cuts and colors
second photo together at a BYU game
I miss his long hair :)

Friday, September 14, 2012

Looking back and looking forward

If there was ever any doubt about my desire for a baby, especially a son, going through and organizing all little d's old baby clothes did the trick for me. It is incredible how each outfit is loaded with so many incredible memories, and I get terribly excited thinking about getting to put a mushy little baby in them again and adding to those memories. On the flip side, thinking about the possibility of having a girl is pretty overwhelming... Even with planning ahead and finding good deals it took (what felt like) a lot of money and effort to accumulate the wardrobe we already have, only a few pieces of which would be appropriate for a girl (since most of the onesies say things like "mamas boy" and "daddy's all star"), and even while I have no plans on ever having a super frilly pink princess girly girl (sorry to be a disappointment, mom!), I do plan on dresses, tights, hair bands and that sort of thing which I know could end up costing quite a pretty penny (and I am fully aware that the mister is concerned most about the prospect of us having a girl), but I do think making dresses and headbands would be more feasible than pants and shirts (which is why I've only decorated onesies for my darling son). But I digress. I will be pleased with a healthy baby, no matter the gender.

Even if little d announced in the car today (completely out of the blue, on the way home from the grocery store and without any prompting), "mom I no want a sister." me, "oh really? Why not?" him, "I want a brother. A brother like desi (Kevin)". Ummm... Who wants to be the one to break the news that there is not a kitten growing in my tummy to little d??

At least one thing is for sure. Looking back on my blog book from last year (was it really only last year?!) and those last difficult months balancing full time work and motherhood, each post just seethed with desperation. Sadness. Discouragement. If I could have, I would have run back in time to my old self and reassured her that she was doing a great job, she wasn't missing anything, and it would only last a short time. This time around, I am relieved and grateful that I will not feel torn between two worlds that I love so equally much. I know how hard it will be, and even knowing that I will probably have less of a chance to nap and catch up on sleep this time around with two littles (my biggest complaint by far), I will be spending the day doing what I could only dream about in 2010 and most of 2011.

And primarily because of that, I am eagerly looking forward, excited to embrace this brief period of young motherhood that passes only too quick for my liking.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

baby hungry post #4

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

10 weeks pregnant with #2

And so beyond ready for the end of the first trimester. I'm ready to be my normal, productive self again, okay baby?

Weight gain: +3

Aversions: sometimes it feels like anything or everything. The worst is guacamole and all hummus. gross gross gross... and worse so because I have taught little d to LOVE guac and he requests it for snack every day. :/

Cravings: salty meals and sweet baked goods. Linden deli sub "Dude Ranch" (don't worry, I heat up the deli in the microwave before eating it) has been on my brain a lot but I'm pretty sure it is just the combination of turkey and ranch dressing I love so much. Also ceasar salads. Fresh berries.

Sleep: Unfortunately no dreams like this lately. Since managing to control my crazy water drinking binges, my sleep usually only gets interrupted once a night. This past week started the crazy pregnancy dreams, none of which are pleasant or worth repeating. I need to start going to bed before 11 (curse you, downton abbey!) to hopefully alleviate how terrible I feel until I hit the gym sometime between 8 and 10 am. Still napping every chance I get. Little d has even gotten into the habit of waking up from his nap and asking, "Mom? done wit your nap yet?"

Best moment of the week: going to the "baby school" (Mr. D's old elementary school) park yesterday. The weather was chilly (about 68) and just delicious. 

Random: Completely befuddled on what to do about... little d watching so many TV shows in the morning because of my inability to function till after he has been up for two to three hours, whether to have the baby sleep in our room or with little d (or even just when to make that transition), when to potty train little d, and freaking out a little bit that I haven't done a very good job teaching him pre-school-y stuff up to this point.

Symptoms: constantly running nose (which I remember having all through last pregnancy too), nausea, tired, feeling so sick saturday and sunday that it was the biggest struggle to get out of bed (and didn't happen till nearly 10am saturday!). I've been careful not to move too quickly from laying to standing, since that is what caused my fainting spells a few times 

What I'm looking forward to: Apple picking with little d and the Mr on Saturday morning... I've been in the mood for baking an apple pie and filling the house with apple-y smells.

What I'm nervous about this week: again, dealing with food aversions. I can't wait to just eat food normal and not have to worry so much about it. I cannot open the fridge longer than about two seconds and have to keep my nose plugged the whole time (sometimes also breathing out so I don't accidentally inhale something nauseating). Everything needs to be carefully thought about, smelled and approved by my stomach before ingesting...quite the annoying process.

What I miss: eating normal most of all. and this week, feeling like I want to run. I still work out, but unless it is a class my efforts are about 50%. Running with the stroller is not at all appealing to me and I wish it were. My longest treadmill run has been about 3 miles and I hated every minute of it.

Comparison to #1: well, my weight gain is on track to be the 40+ pounds from the last time around...oy. I feel like I look much smaller than I did last time, but that could be because I am still desperately trying to keep my figure (AKA abs) tucked in as long as possible whereas last time I couldn't wait to start showing and for people to notice. What with me being constantly winded and thickening around the middle I am sure most people think I am simply terribly out of shape.

good thing I have this gorgeous creature around all the time to keep me happy!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Make it: buckeye brownies

Ok, so my mil actually made these but they are so good I will certainly be making them again. All the flavor of a buckeye with much less work (and a little brownie makes them go a long way more than the original buckeyes!).

Submitted by: Heather Prentice from Mars, PA
Originally shared on the web 11/28/2011

19-1/2 oz. pkg. brownie mix
2 c. powdered sugar
1/2 c. plus 6 T. butter, softened and divided
8-oz. jar creamy peanut butter
6-oz. pkg. semi-sweet chocolate chips
Prepare and bake brownie mix in a greased 13"x9" baking pan according to package directions. Let cool. Mix powdered sugar, 1/2 cup butter and peanut butter. Mix well and spread over cooled brownies. Chill for one hour. Melt together chocolate chips and remaining butter in a saucepan over low heat, stirring occasionally. Spread over brownies. Let cool; cut into squares. Makes 2 to 3 dozen.
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