Sunday, August 19, 2012

25 months

I know I haven't even really blogged about little d at 2 years, but this month I was watching him sleep and just had this incredible epiphany I wanted to write down so I never forgot.

25 months ago, little d was still a baby d squished inside me and whenever I see him sleep like this (most of the time) I just get this overwhelming love wash over me and I am completely amazed that my body grew that sweet boy. The female body is an absolutely incredible machine and I truly did not appreciate it for the miracle it is.

So while we start thinking about having a #2, I think my goal will be to focus on the positive. I was so overwhelmed with the weight gain, NICU scare and csection that I failed to focus on the positive from two years ago till now. How awful is that!! To only focus on the negative worst parts of such a ultimate sacrifice and miracle.

As we plan for the next phase of our lives, working our way from a family of 4 (kg is still a very big part of our family, regardless of how disgusting it is that he's eating ferrell wildlife on a regular basis) to a family of 5, I am going to focus more on the positive.

My body was able to grow and carry a beautiful child to full term, I went into labor on my own, I completely dilated and my water broke on my own and my unfortunate csection is just a side note to one of the best days of my life. I trust my heavenly father and my own body and look forward to embracing motherhood a second time.

Oh and as a side note, the question I get the most when we talk to other people about future siblings for little d is whether I prefer a girl or boy this time around. Last time I was dead set on girl, because that was all I knew!! Having a boy terrified me!! Now, having gone through the journey the last two years, I would happily have many more boys if they were all as good natured as little d. As strange as it may sound, we have referred to Kevin as little d's brother for as log as Ivan remember. He understands and loves the concept of "brother" and I love the idea of him having a little brother to play ball with... That being said I would ultimately love to have a girl, having grown up with sisters I am a little biased. So I can honestly say that this time around I am completely indifferent about the gender and yet so excited to find out.

So there you have it. 25 months of highs and lows and obviously the highs far outweigh the lows because I have never been happier with my life an am excited to continue to grow our little family, even with all the challenges (sleepless nights) will inevitably bring.

I love this boy and thank god every day for bringing my husband (and the resultant son) to me.

Seriously. So blessed.


anna. said...

cute sleeping baby! so glad too ( :

Lizzie N said...

such a sweet post! isn't life and the human body amazing? i don't know how someone could know ANYTHING about the human body and not believe in God! i love sleeping babies!

Sarah Elizabeth Kron said...

seriously cutest baby alive. the end.

Sarah Elizabeth Kron said...

and female bodies = pretty legit too. (:

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