I guess when you have 1001 blogposts, you start to wonder what started all this business in the first place. So here I have, my very first entry into this blog, 1000 posts ago:
Then... I had a Baby D.
And while I was a mother, I was also a full-time art teacher. And an artist. And a homemaker. And I loved to cook. And bake. I loved spending the whole day devouring a good book cover-to-cover or watch a Friends marathon. And of course there was running.
Oprah's 3 things, I was trying to be someone (or everyone) that I was not. I was trying to be a pro blogger, master artist and a bunch of other things that are not really in my deck of cards for being able to complete. Time and season. And as much as I tried to sidestep it over the last year, because of some false pretense that being proud to be a SAHM was a terrible thing. Those little nagging voices in my head told me that wasn't good enough, didn't make enough money, wasn't glamorous enough. I thought it was something I didn't want because I have so many around me that are constantly telling me they could NEVER feel truly fulfilled as a SAHM. There must be something else in your life is your #1, right? Wrong.
To be completely honest, it is one of my favorite things to have someone tell me, in person, how much they like my blog, or a certain post. One remark like that is worth more than a million "he's so cute" comments. Especially when they come from my family members, who (other than me and my two D's), are my target audience!
Do you want to know a secret?
I think I finally have it all figured out. The secret to my happiness and my identity. And it was right in front of me all along, so simple I nearly missed it.
1) A wife.
2) A mother.
3) A runner.And that's it. Those are my 3 things that I want to spend all my time doing, that I want to do extremely well, in that order. Sure, there are a million other things it would be awesome to be pro at (or even half decent) but I am learning to really live in and love the moment I am in. When I was 16-20, I loved being single. When I was 20 (and every day since) I loved being married to Mr. D. And now, at age 25, I am finally learning to delve into my calling for this time in my life... I love being a married mama.
There is literally nothing in this world that I would rather be doing 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
To each his own, but this girl has found her true calling.
So what if I have 10 books on my nightstand that will probably take me the next 24 months or so to actually read through? So what if I am not making money. It was only recently when I accepted that it was OK for me to love being (and NOT feel at all guilty about being) a SAHM, that I really started to enjoy myself with little D. I found myself less frustrated with him when something didn't go the way I planned it to, and overall happier to be around him ALL the time. I am crazy about this boy and I'm not ashamed to say it. I still have running as my little hobby for the time being, but for right now, I am LOVING being a mom. Because that is who I am. And I am proud. I really am.