since she found this and posted it for me so that I can steal it...
"what you learn from Disney Princesses"
(Click to enlarge)
Did I fail to mention that my entire childhood I grew up thinking that if I tried hard enough, I could at least LOOK like one of these ladies (well...maybe just have the same hairstyle, tiny waist and big chest).
Oy. I am glad we are not having a daughter yet. I need to re-select my female role models first.
Looking back just over a year ago, I was running monthly races, unemployed but desperately looking for a job, trying my hand at gardening for the first time, and having kids was probably the farthest thing from my mind. its funny how much can change in such a (relatively) short amount of time.
I can't even begin to imagine what the next 12 months will hold. Hopefully, another garden?
I also finished this painting that has been a work-in-progress for the last 2 years or so... I'll be finishing the background this week and then plan on sending it to the mama of these 3 girls (a friend of Mr. D, who I don't think even knows that I did this painting, so hopefully that doesn't spoil the surprise). It feels good to be finally finishing such an intimidating project.
Not to trump Mr. D's perfect haircut, but I have been promising these pics to my parents for a few days, since they ARE the wonderful ones who bought the set for us (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!)...
here is the crib, pre-setup:
And.... the finished product: (!!)
Oh, Baby D, even though you still have 7 weeks to go, I feel a little more prepared for you to come with a place for you to sleep and all your little outfits washed (my laundry room smells like Dreft...heavenly!). This weekend's project (now that I am DONE with work for the summer!) will be putting together the hospital bag. But don't get any ideas YET... I have a class for the next two weeks and Mr. D will be in Boston until June 10th, so you'd better keep cooking in my tummy until at least then!
Dr's visit #7 went smoothly. I actually guessed my weight accurately for the first time, so that was kind of cool. My (and Baby D's) growth seems to have stabilized to a "normal" rate, which is good, since initially, my goal was to stay under 150 (obviously that one's out the window), and now its to at least not weigh more than Mr. D...not because he's fat, but because he's nearly a FOOT taller than me. I think (knock on wood) I am safe on that second goal. But we shall see.
We put up the crib today, but I'll wait to post pictures till we get the bedding put together on Friday!
For the time being, here is my self-portrait of the semester for sculpture.. I actually really like it. Its a prego runner made of plaster, painted, and scattered at my feet are old running bibs... I can't believe its been over six months since I last ran a race. It feels like a lifetime ago.
Breathing and eating at the same time while seated has posed a new challenge I was not expecting.
Baby D is moving around nicely and walking around has started to give me false labor contractions a few times a day. They don't hurt at all, it just feels like a ton of pressure/tightening in my uterus and throws my balance forward, more so then usual. Don't worry, I am taking it easy and still taking my daily 2 hour naps...mostly because it helps relieve my lower back pain.
I guess I am pretty lucky to only have to wake up once in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I've heard some horror stories about going multiple times.... I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
Crib and Mattress (compliments of my fabulous parents!!) are coming in tomorrow! I am so excited to see Mr. D put it up.
Today was our last day to take attendance/get grades in.
Most of today, I have had to practice some serious yoga breath to calm myself down and keep from snapping at them witty retorts as to why "NO, you do NOT have an 'A.' And NO, at this point, there is nothing you can do to make up those points."...these kids were driving me NUTS!
And then I get this email, in the middle of class that student M is supposed to be in:
Why hello my favorite art teacherrr.
This is obviously M.
And I am actually in class right now, I just happen to be wearing an invisibility cloak.
So you just can't see me, but I'm here.
So you can just mark me here!
Ahhh thanks woman
I knew I've always liked you.
Have a good summer!
Don't miss me and C too much
-M (Who is really in class, not at home):)
And I realize I actually have some pretty hilariously intelligent students. And that makes up for the rest of them.
Because I have a certain someBODY who will not allow me to sleep in and have breakfast later than we usually do during the week. Oh, the joys of pregnancy :)
Speaking of which, I have a confession to make: 16 and Pregnant on MTV is just about one of my favorite "guilty pleasure" shows to watch. For anyone who hasn't seen it, a camera crew follows around a slew of 16 year old girls through their pregnancies as they figure out high school, becoming a mom, and dealing with the white-trash/deadbeat babydaddy (typically another 16 year old). Why do I watch this show when all it does is show how unprepared 16 year olds are for parenthood? Because it makes me feel better about myself. Seriously. I could list off a million reasons why I am better qualified as a mother than these accidental "babies having babies," but when it comes right down to it, unlike these girls, I:
1) Am a high school graduate.
2) Am also a college graduate
3) Am in a stable relationship with a significant other (which I personally define as marriage) who is also a high school and college graduate.
4) Have a full-time job and am able to financially support myself, as does aforementioned significant other.
5) [And most importantly] Have a well-defined understanding of who I am as a person. In other words, I have discovered and pursued (through trial and error) those things that interest me the most, and have evolved a sense of self-worth that is wholly based on me as an individual, independent of anyone and anything else.
I recently found out one of my 16 year old students is pregnant...and not necessarily on accident. WHAT?! When I was 16, all I thought about were really superficial things like getting really tan, staying skinny, shopping, buying clothes, going on vacations, and of course, boys... but only so that I could not have to pay to go to the movies, and could spend that money instead on shopping and tanning. :)
(Balsa foam art and haiku compliments of one of my non-pregnant students)
I can't say that as a teenager the thought EVER crossed my mind of "Gee, I would love to start a family before I finish high school." That is so sad. I barely feel fully prepared to have this little guy and I am almost 10 years wiser older than this student.
So I guess what I really want to say, is thanks to my parents. For raising my sisters and I in such a way that we all made through high school (and 2 of 3 so far through college) in one piece. The children that we eventually have will benefit SO much from having educated, intelligent mothers [who take after their own mother, of course!]. And I am so grateful for this job I was blessed to stumble upon nearly a year ago, where these students teach me every day things that will help me become a better parent.
The last time this happened was only last week, I think, when I spent from about 5pm-midnight working on laundry and housecleaning nonstop (I blame it on my excitement to use my new vacuum). And now, after Day 1 of 2 of "The Great Classroom Clean," I feel it again... the Braxton Hicks contractions, I suppose. My abdomen is hard as a rock and I feel a TON of pressure, like Baby D's pushing on my insides.
Today has FLOWN by, and I can tell because I completely forgot to eat anything from 6am to noon. VERY bad. Baby's now kicking me and rolling around like crazy (since I've kept him snug and tight the whole day). So much for my workout at the gym today... I am sore all over. I am even dreading my 15 minute walk home. But at the end of that walk, I can lay down in bed and think about how clean my classroom is getting. I'm not going to lie, its pretty glorious for an art classroom. :) I am so proud of my amazing students who (with the help of a little donut and/or cookie bribery, but TOTALLY worth the $70 to have) cleaned my room so well... it makes me excited for next school year... strange, huh?
Well, off to home and the Kevs. And it looks like laundry and working out and cleaning the house will have to wait till tomorrow. Asi es la vida. And that's O.K.
all I can think about is everything on my "to do" list that I have been putting off for far too long.
and needless to say, that includes a lot of half-finished projects. so get ready for a bombardment of images as i complete those eternal projects.
One of my favorite Boston ladies (and favorite kickboxing instructors) came to visit us yesterday :)
And we had our last prenatal class tonight, which (unfortunately) sent me into one of my emotional...kickbacks. I've only had a few of them in my whole pregnancy (most recently on Mother's Day), but it's when I just think about everything that is going to happen to me/us and get so overwhelmed for a few minutes and cry. Its embarassing...I don't even like Mr. D to see me when it happens. Thoughts like this flood my mind:
Will I be able to help Baby D sleep through the night and breastfeed properly and keep him healthy and get enough sleep myself and be a good wife and keep my house clean and have time to work out and take care of myself and take care of Mr. D and cook meals and be ready to go back to work just weeks after giving birth and be an effective teacher and give my boys the attention they need and still be able to have "me" time and somehow, through all of that, find a way to stay sane?
And then I remember that I am not the only woman to worry about having a baby. Or to be a working mom. Or even to have doubts like these. And then I say a little prayer, take a few deep yu-jai breaths (thank you, yoga), pet the cat, and no more than 10 minutes later, I'm at peace again (so don't worry about me, mom). It's a relief to know that after all those emotional teenage years, I have finally learned how to calm myself down.
Hopefully that works in my favor for childbirth...
Dear Baby D, Nine weeks to go! I can honestly say I have never been more happy or more uncomfortable (and at the same time!) in my life. Seriously. Between your crazy kicking, your dad's snoring, and the Kevs' demand for attention in the middle of the night, my sleeping has been going anything but smooth. But I know you are alive and well, and even with my tiny abdominal space I can still feel you moving all around. Sometimes I can even identify your head/butt or your elbows/knees rubbing around inside of me.
Its hard to believe we are going to get bigger. But we are. Your daddy has already scheduled his ticket to visit "home" in Boston for the first week in June, but after that you are free to come whenever you desire. I don't want to sound selfish or anything, but I will only have 4 weeks with you all to myself before I will have to go to work if you come on your proposed due date, and I would LOVE to even just have you a week or two earlier...
Wishful thinking, I know. I REALLY just want you to be healthy and a happy baby, even if you decide to really torture your mommy and make her wait for you until week 41. You are very lucky to have two working parents who both love their jobs and are able to be flexible enough to physically (and financially) take care of you. It's not going to be easy (and it will probably be very crazy for a few years), but we will do our best to make it work. Plus, you are a lucky lucky boy to have so many relatives live close by, all of whom are clamouring for a chance to take care of you.
The funniest thing to me is how much you favor being on my right side. I can almost push in my left side completely, but the right side of my stomach is always hard as a rock (when its not kicking) and you have always gotten hiccups when you are on my stomach's right side, like you did today at the movies.
Well, my boy, you are already exhausting me before you get here. But at least when you get out here, you can tire out everyone else (and kicking dad at night doesn't count now, since we both know he can sleep through anything). I love you so much...and I can't wait until a week from Friday, when school's out for the summer and I can finally focus on getting everything ready for your big arrival.
"After seeing you many times already, I still can't believe your pregnant. I've never had a pregnant sister before, so I'll need to get used to it."
-DK, my 11 year old brother, in my (first!) mother's day card.
Almost a week late, I finally remembered to post this!
My mother's day gift to me (us): a 7am cinnamon french toast run at Kneader's with this hottie (and fellow mama) right here to discuss yummy things like childbirth.
Doctor Visit #6:
-Waited an hour for my Doctor, who never came because he ended up delivering not one but TWO babies.
-Found out I tested positive for Group Strep B (Not a big deal, just means that I have to be IV'd antibiotics during labor to keep from passing it onto Baby D....although Mr. D did turn to me in the car afterwards and asked, jokingly, "So...when were you going to tell me you had Herpes?")
-My Uterus is 31 centimeters. Thats over a foot!
-I officially waddle when I walk. Seriously. Its hysterical, I am sure. I have tried to stop but to no avail.
-Baby D still has a (much louder!) heartbeat
-Baby D's home (me) has gained 35 pounds.
-Dr's visits will be every two weeks from now on!
-Almost 9 weeks to go!
2010 has been a good year to me. First I wanted a new apartment.(Check). Then I wanted a new washer and dryer to go along with it. (Check). THEN I wanted a (full priced) vacuum, which we have never purchased since we've been married. I guess when you want something for SO long, you just appreciate it more. 15 pounds of power... this vacuum is my new (domestic) best friend.
My sister is absolutely, completely brilliant and awesome. What would I do without her? Well, I would have been cooking and cleaning alone on Mother's Day without her, for one. And for another thing, I would probably weigh a lot less (but I'm sure baby D would be a lot less happy) without constantly having wonderful delights like these being made on a weekly (sometimes daily!) basis:
I love love love having her living with us. And she will make a seriously famous pastry chef someday soon. Food like what she makes is one of the most motivating reasons for why I run: so I feel no guilt and all pleasure enjoying these sorts of delectable treats. Forget cake, this will be the stuff for my birthday dessert....thanks, Bananas!!!
As I was fixing my hair this morning, I remembered what I was doing on Mother's day last year. I thought I had blogged about it, but I guess I forgot to. I went for an hour-long run that morning, and it felt so good. It was such a scary-uncertain place that Mr. D and I were in, with the both of us on the lookout for jobs and some sort of direction in our lives.... running was the only thing that made sense to me in May 2009. And I remember thinking that when I was a mother, I wouldn't necessarily want flowers or chocolates. What I would really like is the time for a nice long guilt-free run on a beautiful day. It was hard not to think about that as we drove to church this morning, but I resolved to make it happen next year...with my jogging stroller and little D in tow, of course! My last run was the start of February of this year, before I ballooned so big that my body just couldn't handle moving around all that extra weight. :) But as I keep saying, if this pregnancy has taught me anything at all, it is the importance of patience. Even as we are down 30 weeks, 3/4 of the way "there," I am so grateful for all of the changes my body has been making to encourage me to think about how much will change this summer.
I know there are a lot of ladies out there who will never have the chance to give birth to a child, and a lot of girls who have to raise their children without the help of the baby daddy... I am humbled to be so lucky, especially when sometimes I probably complain so much that I don't deserve any of this. But I have been so blessed by so many amazing women in my life that have made me the kind of person I am today... it saddens me to think that after all some of them have done, Mother's Day is the only day they receive the kind of recognition they deserve. Every Mother's Day I re-resolve myself to take advantage of letting those wonderful women know how much they mean to me, year-round, and to never resort to just giving them that attention one day a year.
So, to those lovely, spectacular women [mom, mother-in-law, friends, aunts, cousins, colleagues, sisters, grandmas, aunt/cousin-in-laws] in my life (and you know who you are), thank you for continuing to be my shining example(s). Happy Mother's Day.
I have finally found it... the perfect stroller. I can't use it for jogging with Baby D until he is 8 weeks old...but I doubt I will be jogging before then anyways. After pouring over Runner's World reviews (and taking a little quiz), this was the stroller it boiled down to. The B.O.B. Revolution in navy/gray.
Remember THIS post from last summer?
We thought it was so cute that he could catch a kill a little lizard.
We even encouraged him by continuing to buy him little mouse toys that he would literally shred to pieces, tearing out all the stuffing...
We should have seen that as an obvious sign.
Well, last night, my sweet little Kevs brought home A DEAD MOUSE. TO OUR FRONT DOOR.
TOSSING IT AROUND LIKE IT WAS A TOY.
I'm sure it would have been much funnier if I wasn't completely paranoid about him bringing it (or any nasty germs that came with it) into the house...which he did attempt to do.
"At least he has his shots, just let him play with it." says Mr. D, so no, he would not put it in a trash bag and throw it in the dumpster. And an open mouthed mouse lying flat on his back was the first thing I saw as I stepped out to go to work. GROSS.
I mean, sure, I am proud that our little cat is in fact a wild animal. I would just be much happier not knowing about it.
With just over 10 weeks to go, we had our second of four prenatal classes last night, which brought up a whole slew of new bad things to subconsciously dream/think about....
I've come up with a list of things I that seem to be at the forefront of my nightmares when I can't sleep. Otherwise known as my list of irrational fears.
-Mr. D won't be there when I go into labor.
-There is a chance that I could get sliced open (AKA have a Cesearean Section), since I have never had any kind of surgery before. Gross.
-I won't be a good enough mom, able to balance motherhood, being a wife, housework, WORK work, and getting back into shape.
-I won't be able to work out for 6+ weeks. And I will hate my body. The longest I have gone without working out over the last 3 years is ONE week.
-My body will never "be the same" again.
-Mr. D will love me less. Or no longer be attracted to me. Or worse, that he will leave me.
-The Kevs will hate me (he's very jealous) after Baby D comes home, or that Baby D will be allergic to the Kevs.
As we were leaving the hospital (where our class is), a man asked us if we were "checking in" to have our baby... I have never been more relieved to say that I still have 11 weeks to go, since it will probably take that long to stop worry about all those silly things I cannot control. On the positive side, I know:
-Everything relating to Baby D and his upcoming arrival is in the hands of someone much more powerful and all-knowing than I. I am confident that nothing He gives me will be more than I am able to handle.
-Mr. D does love me. And even if he doesn't find me attractive for awhile, that's Okay because eventually I will be back to my regular self. And he's given me a whole year leeway to do so. :)
-Most of those fears are completely irrational. And as a rational person (most of the time), I can confidently look back at the list I just made and realize how silly most of those concerns are.
But sometimes it is good to see that sort of thing in print, to remind you not to overthink or worry about such silly things. And to refocus on more important things, like growing a baby. Or finishing out the last few weeks of school/work. Or how to avoid getting paint on my shirt when I can't see it in the first place...