With just over 10 weeks to go, we had our second of four prenatal classes last night, which brought up a whole slew of new bad things to subconsciously dream/think about....
I've come up with a list of things I that seem to be at the forefront of my nightmares when I can't sleep. Otherwise known as my list of irrational fears.
-Mr. D won't be there when I go into labor.
-There is a chance that I could get sliced open (AKA have a Cesearean Section), since I have never had any kind of surgery before. Gross.
-I won't be a good enough mom, able to balance motherhood, being a wife, housework, WORK work, and getting back into shape.
-I won't be able to work out for 6+ weeks. And I will hate my body. The longest I have gone without working out over the last 3 years is ONE week.
-My body will never "be the same" again.
-Mr. D will love me less. Or no longer be attracted to me. Or worse, that he will leave me.
-The Kevs will hate me (he's very jealous) after Baby D comes home, or that Baby D will be allergic to the Kevs.
As we were leaving the hospital (where our class is), a man asked us if we were "checking in" to have our baby... I have never been more relieved to say that I still have 11 weeks to go, since it will probably take that long to stop worry about all those silly things I cannot control. On the positive side, I know:
-Everything relating to Baby D and his upcoming arrival is in the hands of someone much more powerful and all-knowing than I. I am confident that nothing He gives me will be more than I am able to handle.
-Mr. D does love me. And even if he doesn't find me attractive for awhile, that's Okay because eventually I will be back to my regular self. And he's given me a whole year leeway to do so. :)
-Most of those fears are completely irrational. And as a rational person (most of the time), I can confidently look back at the list I just made and realize how silly most of those concerns are.
But sometimes it is good to see that sort of thing in print, to remind you not to overthink or worry about such silly things. And to refocus on more important things, like growing a baby. Or finishing out the last few weeks of school/work. Or how to avoid getting paint on my shirt when I can't see it in the first place...