Wednesday, May 05, 2010

With just over 10 weeks to go, we had our second of four prenatal classes last night, which brought up a whole slew of new bad things to subconsciously dream/think about....
I've come up with a list of things I that seem to be at the forefront of my nightmares when I can't sleep. Otherwise known as my list of irrational fears.

-Mr. D won't be there when I go into labor.
-There is a chance that I could get sliced open (AKA have a Cesearean Section), since I have never had any kind of surgery before. Gross.
-I won't be a good enough mom, able to balance motherhood, being a wife, housework, WORK work, and getting back into shape.
-I won't be able to work out for 6+ weeks. And I will hate my body. The longest I have gone without working out over the last 3 years is ONE week.
-My body will never "be the same" again.
-Mr. D will love me less. Or no longer be attracted to me. Or worse, that he will leave me.
-The Kevs will hate me (he's very jealous) after Baby D comes home, or that Baby D will be allergic to the Kevs.

As we were leaving the hospital (where our class is), a man asked us if we were "checking in" to have our baby... I have never been more relieved to say that I still have 11 weeks to go, since it will probably take that long to stop worry about all those silly things I cannot control. On the positive side, I know:

-Everything relating to Baby D and his upcoming arrival is in the hands of someone much more powerful and all-knowing than I. I am confident that nothing He gives me will be more than I am able to handle.
-Mr. D does love me. And even if he doesn't find me attractive for awhile, that's Okay because eventually I will be back to my regular self. And he's given me a whole year leeway to do so. :)
-Most of those fears are completely irrational. And as a rational person (most of the time), I can confidently look back at the list I just made and realize how silly most of those concerns are.

But sometimes it is good to see that sort of thing in print, to remind you not to overthink or worry about such silly things. And to refocus on more important things, like growing a baby. Or finishing out the last few weeks of school/work. Or how to avoid getting paint on my shirt when I can't see it in the first place...


Stina said...

JUST so you know...
-You will be an AMAZING Mom! You will teach him how to make the world around him awesome and "his own" with your art...and you will support in all his sports ect just like you do Mr. D!
-I was back in yoga after about three yeah take it easy...but you can go to yoga and to some moves...(it will feel AMAZING not having a stomach again!)
-after I had my baby is when I REALLY appreciated my body for all that it could do...and STILL does! Your healthy and young! You'll be fine :)
-Kevs and baby D will be friends :) Alvin loves chasing the cats already and they don't run. they roll over...they know he's part of the family and that pulling their fur is how he says "I love you" or more likely "WHAT ARE YOU???" :)


naomi said...

Andy wasn't allowed to stay in the hospital with me (the delivery was amazingly fine but then I had an INSANE complication a few hours later) which was a fear I hadn't expected but honestly, it's amazing how you'll cope even if one of your fears were to come true (although I can guarantee Mr. D isn't going anywhere and Kevs will love you still haha). Also, the body thing is weird - I was miles bigger and fatter than you immediately before delivery, but you're going to be really shocked at how elastic you are and because you're so fit you'll do better than me, i swear it.

skroner said...

just don't worry and just don't worry.
you're much too lovable and cute for anything bad to happen (:

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