Wednesday, May 19, 2010

doubts

One of my favorite Boston ladies (and favorite kickboxing instructors) came to visit us yesterday :)
And we had our last prenatal class tonight, which (unfortunately) sent me into one of my emotional...kickbacks. I've only had a few of them in my whole pregnancy (most recently on Mother's Day), but it's when I just think about everything that is going to happen to me/us and get so overwhelmed for a few minutes and cry. Its embarassing...I don't even like Mr. D to see me when it happens. Thoughts like this flood my mind:

Will I be able to help Baby D sleep through the night and breastfeed properly and keep him healthy and  get enough sleep myself and be a good wife and keep my house clean and have time to work out and take care of myself and take care of Mr. D and cook meals and be ready to go back to work just weeks after giving birth and be an effective teacher and give my boys the attention they need and still be able to have "me" time and somehow, through all of that, find a way to stay sane?

And then I remember that I am not the only woman to worry about having a baby. Or to be a working mom. Or even to have doubts like these. And then I say a little prayer, take a few deep yu-jai breaths (thank you, yoga), pet the cat, and no more than 10 minutes later, I'm at peace again (so don't worry about me, mom). It's a relief to know that after all those emotional teenage years, I have finally learned how to calm myself down.

Hopefully that works in my favor for childbirth...

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