Monday, October 19, 2009

Term 1 Quoteable Shenanagans

Favorite Shenanagan-esque things said in my classroom (so far) this year: Student: "Mrs. D, could you please for just one moment pretend that you are an art teacher?" Me: "You mean pretend that I am a good art teacher?" (Confused) Student: "No. I meant pretend that you are indeed a teacher of art." Me: "We are NOT carving pumpkins again...half the class has cut themselves!" Student (who, incidentally, had cut himself while carving a pumpkin): "Mrs. D you are so negative. You realize that means that half the class has NOT cut themselves!" (and later, the same day...) Student: "So... does that mean we can't do stained glass anymore?" (!!!!) Student: "Why do we need to draw in a sculpture class?" Me: "Because most sculptors sketch out what they are going to sculpt before they sculpt it." Student: "Well then. I suppose you are an excellent teacher of drawing. And apparently sculpture." Student: "Will plaster dust really KILL me, or just make me really sick if I eat it?" Me: "Probably just make you really sick. Why?" Student: "Mrs. D, I just ate plaster dust." (!!!!!!) In response to the question I posed at the start of the school year, "What do want to do in this class?": Student: "Blow stuff up." Me: "Um... what else do you want to do?" Student: "THIS!," presenting me with a paper with the words "Insane Clown Posse" scrawled all over it. The best part about this student is that is nearly all he has done in my art class. Repeatedly. Except the words have transformed to "Insane in the brain," after we talked about self-portraits. A special ed student (whom I adore, and knows me through my student teaching last year) randomly walked into one of my classes and announced I was pregnant. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't remember who told him that, only that, "The baby was in your belly and now its gone. But don't worry, because it is only hiding and will be back again soon." (!!!!!!) And of course... *drumroll please* Student: "Sorry I wasn't in class yesterday. I had swine flu. Do you want to see my doctor's note?" Awesome. It will certainly be a holy miracle if I survive this school year (or even semester) without catching anything. :)
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