Wednesday, March 25, 2009

2004 of the Identity Crisis Saga

I feel like so much of the last two weeks has been about relationships. Break-ups, make-ups, etc etc. One conversation in particular where a friend got their heart broken totally out of the blue, made me think (out loud, unfortunately) I'm glad I've never had someone break up with me. But last night something triggered a memory and I remembered, someone did.
*Cue Flashback*
After high school, my cousins and I starting going on group dates with some guys who were from Utah, in Ohio to sell for the summer. The one I dated was 25 (I was 18) and although we were never super serious, we were exclusive, and both headed back to Provo in the Fall, with, what I assumed, the intention of dating (talking on the phone the entire drive he took from Ohio to Utah). Long story short, after we (separately) came to Provo, I didn't see or hear from him. Initially, I was crushed, and my first week in Utah I would cry myself to sleep. Did I really have no say in the matter? It sucked. Breakups always suck if you are not the one doing the breaking. Within weeks, I had an enviable social life (despite what happened, I have a little faith in humanity), but would still wonder in the back of my mind what happened to him. 
That November this guy has the nerve to send me a FOUR PAGE TEXT, informing me that he started seeing someone else that fall, and didn't want to hurt my feelings, and he was getting married that month. To a girl he knew three months. Again, I was confused and devastated. It SUCKED and I felt like the most pathetic person in history.
So why would I share something like this? Something so awful and embarrassing, I don't think I've even mentioned it to Mr. D? 
Because even though it SUCKS and I had no control or say over the situation, it was the greatest thing to happen to me at that time. 
I realized that I needed to re-evaluate my goals in life. I cried, I prayed, I soul-searched. I wanted to prepare for and serve a mission; get my education; and not let any guy, dictate my happiness without my consent... I set out to fill my life with what made me happy. I got self-centered so I could really see what it was that I was about, and as I focused on working to perfect ME, I was content. I was preparing myself for a mission... I just didn't realize what KIND of mission until a year later, when I met Mr. D.
 No matter how many or few, never forget to count your blessings.

2 comments:

anna. said...

things happen for a reason, right?

i just need to figure out all my reasons. omg.

siovhan said...

cutest picture of you two. i love it.
and yes, it all does happen for a reason--and i think that preparation paid off. you're a great wife!

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